Pursuing Your Dreams vs. The Simple Life

My nephew is a bruiser. Even as a newborn, he would look up to me as if to say, “I’m the alpha now. I’m the new king. I own you.” Somehow, I believed him.

Fortunately for us, and the world, he is kind-hearted. He isn’t aggressive, except when it comes to food.

Knowing his nature I would often tease him. He especially liked crackers, so of course I monopolized the cracker-box. I would look at him, with all seriousness, and ask him if he would like one or two crackers. He would respond with, “LOTS!”

As a toddler he went to daycare. The daycare host would send a weekly report on the activity of the kids. They were so thorough they even included an eating schedule. An “X " would represent that the child had eaten their meal. Inevitably, my nephew’s eating report card would be filled with 3X’s. Yes, that means he ate three times the normal amount. . . total bruiser.

Anyhow, the most enjoyable time around my nephew was Christmas. He, like many kids, has no filter.

One Christmas he received a Mattel toy car case (the cars were in a different package). Granted, it was just an empty case, but he opened it like any other present. None-too-pleased, he grabbed another present and mumbled under his breath, “I hope it’s not another car case.”

We all burst out laughing. He, recognizing he was overheard, quickly amended his sentence to “I sure do hope it’s another car case!” He knows where his bread is buttered.

But the thing I found most interesting on Christmas is the complete disregard for the value of the present. He would receive a Nintendo, a phone, a remote control car, but would somehow get most consumed by a small bag of rocks. ROCKS! They probably cost $3 at some rinky-dink new age store.

The point I am making is that sometimes, as adults, we lose sight that complexity or value doesn’t equate to satisfaction or enjoyment.

I recently had a conversation with a friend. We were discussing the importance of “pursuing your dreams” vs living a simpler, but satisfying life.

She was saying how she enjoys movies where the main character has a simple job but is comfortable and content with their life. They have satisfying work, happy daily rituals (coffee), and an entertaining and supportive community.

The problem, we commiserated, was the fact that we both have big dreams!

Would we have to sacrifice our dreams at the altar of embracing our simple-yet-comfortable existence? Is it part of maturation to release the dreams of young adulthood at the altar of responsibility?

It occurs to me, as a brilliant life consultant, that it isn’t an either/or situation. It is a both/and.

Many people feel trapped between two options: 1.) sacrifice their dreams at the altar of reality, or 2.) pursue their dreams at the cost of fully enjoying their current situation.

To me, both of those options are soul-crushing.

What if it isn’t a dichotomous decision, but a trichotomous one? LOL. I can’t believe trichotomous is a word.

Anyhow, what if we can and should have both?

The happiest people I know are not people who have released their dreams, but people who don’t need their dreams fulfilled in order to be happy. They hold them loosely, with expectancy, and healthy anticipation.

They don’t believe “they have arrived” or “they’ve made it” if they fulfill their dreams. They already feel whole, happy, and content. Fulfilling their dreams is an addition to an already wonderful life.

Put simply, we can’t pursue our dreams at the expense of our current reality and expect to be happy. Many people are so bore-sighted on what they want they can’t appreciate what they have. They aren’t enjoying the ice-cream cone they are licking because the person next to them has cake.

Similarly. sacrificing our dreams shuts down part of our nature. When we do this, it is IMPOSSIBLE to fully embrace and appreciate the present. We are a person trying to enjoy the present but with a gaping hole in the middle of our life.

In my very very humble opinion, savoring your life in the present is often the key to dream-fulfillment. If we savor where we are at, we can enjoy any promotion without fear of sabotage or emotional-reprisal.

We are like lamps. Selah.

Being “present” is akin to plugging a lamp into the outlet. It provides the energy and the ability to be bright. Dream-fulfillment is allowing that light to be seen, appreciated, and utilized. You can’t be a bright light with no power, and you can’t be an effective light if you are trapped in a box.

Still, you will be tempted to leave one or the other behind. Disappointment, fear, anxiety, difficult relationships, and history all tell us to abandon one (presence) or the other (our dreams). But don’t dismay, those are simply the ghosts of fear trying to get us to not live our best life. A.K.A. self protection.

Instead, move forward confidently in pursuit of your dreams and savoring your simple life. When your subconscious wants to ask, “do you want one or two good days in a row?” you can confidently say, “LOTS!”