7 Questions to Draw Out Your Authentic Definition of Success

For me, success is defined differently at different stages of life. In elementary school, it would have been winning limbo at the skating rink. In high school, it was being invited to the coolest parties. In college, it was getting a B+ on a paper written the morning it was due.

Once we get a little older, our priorities shift. It’s not a good or bad thing…it just happens. We start to reflect on the impact we are making, our purpose, our legacy, and if we are aligned with our calling and destiny.

It’s fairly easy to say the obvious answers.

“I’m living for my children.”
”I’m living for the Lord.”
”I’m just being a good person.”

But those don’t often satisfy. They are too generic to be potent and motivating. Instead, we want to get specific on what we truly deem as success.

And in this case, we want to make it a little more personal to us. OF COURSE we love our children. And many of us want to live for the Lord, but let’s get real about what motivates us (it’ll be the best for them too!).

Here are the questions to ask to get clarity on your (or your client’s) definition of success.

1. What is your burning ambition to accomplish in the world? What would you like to achieve?

2. What do you NOT want to regret (doing or not doing) at the end of your life?

3. What type of person (or achievement) makes you jealous? Does this response give you any insight into your calling or design?

4. What do you want to achieve? But the thought of it is either intimidating or emotional for you?

5. What would be a satisfying benchmark for you to achieve personally?

6. What dream have you all but given up on? Why did you give it up? Do you still want it? Does it feel out of reach?

7. What makes you truly angry? What is it about that thing, person, or culture that makes you angry? What does that say about you and what you truly want?

Bonus: What topic of information are you naturally drawn to consuming (TV, books, in school, with friends, etc.)?

Bonus #2: What are you not doing that you know you should be doing?

Alrighty, if you answered all of those questions you should start to see a picture emerging. What are the commonalities where your answers converge? It will likely be a roadmap for what you should be doing, and also what you truly value.

Does your list convict you of an area of life that you have been under-serving? For example, maybe you know that you want to be a public speaker but have given up that ambition. It’s time to dust off that dream.

Maybe you realized you value being successful in your career (and you find a lot of fulfillment in the business realm). Great! Don’t dismiss that desire as anything “selfish” or “greedy.” Some people are authentically business-people, and they wouldn’t be happy if they weren’t fulfilling that mission.

Okay, finally, try to consolidate all of your answers into a single sentence.

Fill out the following sentence:

My true definition of success is _______________________.

Using your definition, what steps need to be taken to fulfill that definition in your life?

Write your definition somewhere you can reference often. Use this as a “true north” compass towards your dreams. It’s okay if your sentence grows or adapts, but for now, point your life compass in that direction.